I feel blessed

I belong to a group at church called "Mom's Heart Ministry". We meet every Wednesday morning. Some weeks we have large group with guest speakers, or special activities. Other weeks we have small group where we get together with a select few from our small group and discuss a book we are all reading (that I had started to blog about and then I lost interest in blogging about it.)

Anyway... this week was a small group week. In our discussions we came to talking about relationships. One of the mom's was talking about how she and a friend started a bible study that has become more of a support group for 4 women, who started out as strangers and have become fast friends. She said that they are most vulnerable together, and others have attempted to join the group but it is too vulnerable for them. She said that the group has become her closest friends.

A couple of the other moms stated that they just don't *have* any best friends. One seemed saddened by this... another seemed OK with it. She has her husband and her family and she doesn't really mind not having a best friend.

I was quiet during most of the group. Partially because I was tired... partially because this is just a difficult time of year for me... partially for a reason better left unsaid. So they asked me my feelings on this subject.

I told them that I am EXTREMELY blessed to have two VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY best friends who would do anything for me. I told them how when my dad died, Tammy called me and asked who was watching my pets and I cried as I told her I hadn't gotten anyone. Her response? "I'm on my way to your house. Don't worry about them."

When I called Shelley to tell her the news, she said, "I will be at your mom and dad's house to stay with Blake so you can go to the funeral home and do whatever you need to do. Don't worry about him."

When we lost Lilly, Tammy and Shelley were here for me. They let me cry. They let me vent. They let me sit and just not talk.

Shelley and I met in college. On a wallyball court. We've known each other just short of 20 years. Can you IMAGINE? TWENTY years! That is a LONG time.

Tammy and I met when we were placed together as teachers in a Head Start classroom. It was the first time either of us had taught Head Start. She had subbed and volunteered... but this time it was "for real". This was 11 years ago. Again... a long time.

I'm not exactly sure when Shelley and Tammy met each other... or when the three of us became such GOOD friends together. But it works so well. We have a BLAST when we are together. We can be serious one second and laughing til we are crying the next.

I am so thankful that they are my friends. I honestly don't know what I have done to deserve them.

How do I thank them? How do I thank someone for giving me 20 or 11 years of their life? For loving me for who I am. For not judging me, even in my worst moments. For holding me up when I can't stand on my own. For loving my family as their own. For being honest with me, even when it wasn't easy. For allowing me to grow. For giving me space when I needed it. For giving me hugs when I needed them. For making me laugh. For letting me cry. For teaching me. For leading me, and for following me. For forgiving my mistakes... even when it hurt them deeply. For laughing with me. For crying with me. For welcoming me into their families. For accepting the decisions I make, even when they don't agree with them. For giving me the freedom to be me.

Words alone could never express how much I appreciate them. I don't think there is ANY way that I can express how much I appreciate them... how much I love them... how empty my life would be without them.

You know how you hear that question, "If you could be stranded on a desert island with one person, who would it be?" I have a VERY difficult time answering that. I NEED Shelley and Tammy. I don't think I could ever choose just ONE person. I want Mike to be there, and Blake, and Shell and Tam.

Is it enough to say that I truly, TRULY feel blessed to have them in my life? That I would not be who I am today if it weren't for Shelley and Tammy being my friends?

If you guys read this (seems this poor little blog is lost in cyber space) please know that I love you dearly and I thank God for you every day.

Thoughts

There was a guest speaker at church today... for Mom's group. We were told the topic was how to live happily.... using tips from this mom who finally figured it out after 20 years.

Her main point (which she reiterated several times) was that the most important thing you can do is read the Bible every day. She said that you should get to know the word of God so that you will be armed if you ever have to DEFEND the word of God.

I honestly think that the most importnat thing I can do for my child is to spend time with him. If we read the Bible, great. If he learns about God, wonderful. But if he learns that I love him unconditionally and that I think he is an amazing child and I am so SO lucky to have him... then I think THAT is better than reading the Bible.

I talked with another mom afterwards and she said that she doesn't feel she will ever get to the level of understanding God that the speaker is at.

But I think that is OK. I think God meets us right where we are... and I don't think He would chastise us for not being as God fearing as others. I think He loves us unconditionally... just like we love our own children.

I admit, I don't know the Bible well. And there are times I wish I knew it better... but I think that it is more important at this point in my life to know my husband and my son. I feel it is important to spend time as a family... to build those bonds.... to grow in God's love, by sharing our love.