Tonight I took Blake to swim practice. A dad was chatting with me in the hallway afterwards (while we waited for our kids to get out of the locker rooms). He asked if Blake was our only child. I replied, "He's our only living child." His response was the classic look of shock, look away, look uncomfortable, search for words, say, "I'm sorry" and change the subject.
Why?
I would love for just once someone to ask about Lilly. For someone to not feel sorry for me because I've lost a child.
Dear God,
Please help other people understand that I don't share Lilly's death with them because I want their pity. But because I long for her memory to be kept alive. Because I want people to know that I have a daughter too. They can't see her. But if they would just give it a chance, I'm sure they would feel her Lord... and that they would feel You too. And speaking her name is such a rare and treasured thing.
Please help me to understand why people feel so uncomfortable talking about my baby girl. If she were living, they'd be oohing and aahing all over her, Lord. They'd be smiling as she toddled by and asking how old she is. I need guidance to understand why they feel the way they do, Lord. Give me the words and the wisdom.
Amen.
2 comments:
I feel like a loser because I forgot about this blog, but don't you worry, I've added myself as a follower, so I'll keep up to date when you post a new post.
I like the background you have here, it's really pretty.
I understand what you mean about pity. I feel that way too. I would like to talk about my little girl (and her daddy) and if I get a little sad and teary-eyed, it shouldn't scare people away. It is a very SAD event of my life, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen or that I should forget it.
You shouldn't either. Lilly was a beautiful little girl and she was important and continues to be so. I can't look at lillies without thinking of her, and I never even met her!
Thank you for sharing your feelings so that those of us who have never been in your situation will know how to react. I think sometime people are afraid to make others sad by asking or that they will seem too nosy. I will remember your post when I am in a situation like that. You have started a nice blog! (From a stranger)
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